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Space Colony Concepts

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NASA’s Planning division has released its updated list of potential space station and space colony ideas for future development. These include large static space colonies, orbiting space stations, and smaller mobile spaceships. Theories regarding what these would look like were developed based on technical constraints and anthropological predictions of human behavior.

1. Mobile Entertainment Ships

Scientists predict there will be a form of space colony which will be the perfect intersection of mobility, size, and lifestyle. These space ships will house a few thousand residents, and will meander from planet to planet in search of interesting places to visit. In order to keep people entertained in between planets, the space ship will house entertainment options such as games of chance, gravity slides, live music, and alcoholic beverages from various corners of the galaxy.

Unfortunately, side effects of this type of space colony will include unruly space tourists mobbing destination planets during “shore leave”, as well as the providing of a vector for the spread of viruses throughout the galaxy. Despite these negative side-effects, scientists believe these mobile colonies will provide a niche which many people will desire.

2. Mars Bubble World For Gamers

According to NASA scientists, the first Mars habitats will consist of relatively small geodesic domes scattered in small village like clusters on the barren surface. The domes help maintain a safe environment, full of standard atmospheric pressure air. Residents will limit trips outside the domes at first, because the returning colonists will bring back a fine coating of Martian dust on their spacesuits when they return. The dust can be detrimental to human health.

This presents a problem for astronauts who may go stir-crazy in such isolating conditions. NASA believes the best way to combat this mission critical issue is to recruit a team of e-sports players and Youtube streamers. This cohort of astronauts will have a long history of operating in isolation, mitigating the risk of unexpected issues arising within the solitary nature of the Mars colony. Furthermore, the astronauts will have the ability to continue streaming videos and playing in esports competitions. NASA will receive a cut of the revenues, helping fund the mission. Therefore, space anthropologists believe this is the best way to gain a foothold on the red planet.

3. Spacepod Life

For future minimalists, the ideal way to live is the “spacepod life”. This consists of buying a used spacepod, gutting it out, and adding a bed and kitchen along with some decorations. This provides a mobile life on the go, travelling to the coolest parts of the galaxy. Most importantly, these trips need to be documented on space instagram, because showing off your life is 90% of the reason to do anything. Negatives include dealing with extreme temperatures when close to stars (unfortunately pulling the windows down is not an option) as well as the relative lack of radiation shielding.

4. Scenic Space Colonies Susceptible to Space Disasters

Scientists are researching the possibility of having space colonies in scenic locals on various planets. This includes the edge of the Great Red Spot on Jupiter, which provides amazing views of swirling gas clouds. Another location is the tops of the volcanos of Io, which provide amazing panoramic views of the landscape. Unfortunately, natural disasters occasionally occur at these spots, to include earth-sized hurricanes for Jupiter, and raining lava at Io. However, anthropologists believe this won’t stop space colonists, who will quickly rebuild in the same spots after lava storms.

5. New Development in Old Space Colonies

The most historical interplanetary neighborhoods will include original landing sites for old space missions. These will include the Apollo Mission sites and the locations of various Mars rover missions. Current theories stipulate that many of the first space colonies will build in these areas. These early colonies will probably consist of rugged and barebones operations, functional but with limited amenities. Space anthropologists, however, think there will be a second wave of space colonists moving into these old space colonies. This will lead to increases in space rents and displacement of original residents. Ironically, the new space colonists will then loudly complain of the changing nature of the neighborhood

6. Space Colony Where You Can Hear All Your Neighbors

A new cost-efficient and light metal provides promise as the building material for large expansive orbiting space stations in the future. The light weight metal leads to cheaper launch costs, therefore making such a material economically viable for orbital construction. The current concept is for a large rotating disk, several tens of miles in diameter, in order to provide the centipedal acceleration necessary to simulate gravity.

Unfortunately, the metallic structure easily transmits sound, meaning the space station will be filled with the noises of daily life. This will most certainly include loud music played by people living on the opposite end of the space station. The station will not have the staffing needed for space police to respond to noise complaints.

7. Utopian Space Colony

For the idealists in the science community, people have begun theorizing various utopias which can be attempted in the context of a space colony. A utopian space colony will be a moneyless society. Instead, residents will make transactions using things called “credits” which are somehow not a currency but do everything that a currency does. On top of this, there will be a huge emphasis on non-interference with primitive civilizations the space colony runs into. However, residents will continue to ignore this rule in order to make life interesting, while still claiming to adhere to the “prime directive”.

8. Floating Spaceships on Gas Planets

Scientists anticipate gas planets to unexpectedly be hotbeds of human habitation. At first glance this seems unlikely, since these planets don’t have a surface on which people can build cities. However, several conceptual designs have been built for floating habitats. These habitats will consist of vessels carried by helium balloons. Sails will move the ship using the wind power of the gas planet’s weather systems.

There will likely be social activities surrounding these spaceships. These include “floating spaceship week”, where young adults will show up with their spaceships in vacation spots during summer months. On the other end of the spectrum, many retired space colonists are anticipated to buy floating spaceships with their retirement money to go on year long “around the Neptune” trips.

Similar to the “spacepod life” colonists, the floating spaceship colonists will feel a compulsive need to document their trips on instagram.

Make sure to read more enlightening articles at jpjml.com!

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Editor In Chief

The Editor in Chief began his academic journey with a BA in Sociology, followed by a MA in Public Policy. He followed this up with three consecutive PhD programs as a way to hide his lack of direction in life. After realizing that his life dreams were not going to come true, he received a job as an assistant professor at a little known University. He currently has his TAs and grad students do all of his work for him, while he spends the majority of his working day watching Youtube videos from his office. He set up the The Journal of Post-Jungian Machine Learning as a way to facilitate the publishing of useless incremental research in order to boost his linkedin profile. He can be seen at high-end bars and lounges near his University trying to convince visitors that he was *this close* to winning a Nobel Prize.
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