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Pottery Shards in Archaeology

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Archaeologists from the University of West Dakota successfully extrapolated the entire religious, political, economic, and cultural history of an ancient civilization from a single shard of pottery found during an excavation. The scientists discovered the shard of pottery, roughly 2 inches in length, during a University sponsored excavation in the Great Plains region of the United States.

“Based off the quality of the construction of the ceramic, you can deduce high quality kilns produced the material” said Professor Smith, one of the researchers. “This suggests these people probably extensively traded, and had a governing council of elders, each elected from smaller tribal units for a period of one to two years. This is the only way the could have produced pottery of such quality “

Members of the research community also have gained insight into the religious beliefs of the ancient society. “The shard is an off-white color, suggesting the people worshiped a god who brought forth slightly gray rain clouds to water the crops. The crops were probably maize or sorghum” said one member involved in the dig.

The archaeologists found the piece of pottery several miles from a nearby ancient village, suggesting the inhabitants fled a calamity with their belongings. “This is definitive evidence that a series of raids and droughts led to a dramatic collapse of the entire society, in roughly 3500 BC” said a well-known expert in the field. “Us modern humans must take heed and think of how this ties into our own modern problems”.

The members of the dig are anticipating at least 5 seconds of facetime during a future documentary related to the subject. This is roughly equivalent to the career impact of publishing 10 peer-reviewed journal articles. Many of the members of the dig are already adding this to their linkedin profiles.

Make sure to read more enlightening articles at jpjml.com!

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The Editor in Chief began his academic journey with a BA in Sociology, followed by a MA in Public Policy. He followed this up with three consecutive PhD programs as a way to hide his lack of direction in life. After realizing that his life dreams were not going to come true, he received a job as an assistant professor at a little known University. He currently has his TAs and grad students do all of his work for him, while he spends the majority of his working day watching Youtube videos from his office. He set up the The Journal of Post-Jungian Machine Learning as a way to facilitate the publishing of useless incremental research in order to boost his linkedin profile. He can be seen at high-end bars and lounges near his University trying to convince visitors that he was *this close* to winning a Nobel Prize.
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